We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
