I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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