just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
