well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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