i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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