do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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