i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
