It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
