When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
we should paint friendship bongs
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
