Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
