ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
