I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
