True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
