Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
