that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Need sex. Gaining weight.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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