omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
