I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
