You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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