Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize