you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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