I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
