So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
