So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
