What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
