Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
