wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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