Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I just had sex on a roof
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
