positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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