I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
