I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
