Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
