Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
