i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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