Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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