i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
