Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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