If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
