yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
