I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
