there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
