whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
