What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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