So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
