fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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