happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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