I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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