Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I hate all girls vehemently.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
