too bad you live with your parents still
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
