I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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