I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
