how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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