I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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