What a fucking waste of an outfit
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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