He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
