Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
we have officially lost it.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
