I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
