we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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