Midget sex pt 2 tonight
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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