apparently the secret to your success is patron
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
